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Inside my dreams


Don't let the world change you


I have this one rule in my life: " No matter what happens never let bad a person, a awful situation, a unpleasent feeling or a absolutly terrible thing change the way you are".

Basicly my rule says that maybe it the world is going to do awful things to you but never let that change you and let's be honest: it is so hard to do that.

Every time that somebody ignores me I just think: I am going to ignore them back. And despite the impulse to do it I don't. Because I am not the person who ignores other one so insted I talk to them, I smile at them, I say "hi" when they pass by on the street.

Every time my sister steals something from me I think about stealing something from her and then I don't because I am not the person that steals things from other person.

But do you know when it gets really hard? When the whole world decides to try and break you. When people break your heart, when they are not nice at all, when they make fun of you, when they tell you to give up your dreams.

I almost change in that situations, I almost let a wall built between me and the next person, I almost turn bitter like all the persons that did that before me,,  and it is so hard not to change because I want to be protected from all that pain. But then I would let the world in right?! I would be letting all the bad win, I would let the fear of being hurt again sink in and all that persons that did all that to me could finally be happy because they won, they would had change me.

So every time something happens I rise above, I don't let it change me. Because what if I built that wall? What if I became sour and all sad and not nice to people and that next person that appear in my life were a good one? What if I became one of them? One of the ones who change negativly other person?

So I won't let the world change me, not this time. I am though and I can actually change the world if I don't let it change me!


#1 My thoughts


When we were kids our parents read us fairy tales, they read us that stories where the prince saves the princess with a kiss, kills the dragon with a sword andeverything ends up happly because someone can use love and hope and magic to change the world.

I always thought they read us the stories because they wanted to make sure that we knew that out there there was a prince or a princess that would save us, I used to think that they read us the stories so we could sleep better knowing that even if there were monsters under our beds, someone could always protect us from them.

Now I realize I was wrong, they did not read us to make us feel save, they read them because reading those stories out loud saved them, that stories made them hope that someday everything would be alright for them. But I keep thinking that they missed the point, the adults, the writers.

Life is not perfect, it is not a written story, life doesn't happen like the fairy tales do.

In real life the dragons aren't dragons and they do not seem bad, they do not spreed fire but they sure burn your life to the ground, the dragons are hidden in untruethfull smiles and they are just boys that break your heart and false friends that make you cry.

The thing is nobody will save you from them, prince charming will not appear when you are scared or when the dragons threaten you. Prince charming will not make you happy or feel save.

But that's the beauty that everyone that reads fairy tales is missing, is not about the dragons, the prince, the princess. Life is about you, it is about protecting yourself, is about being scared but standing up. What everyone does not understand is that prince charming is not going to appear because against all the odds you can became the hero you were looking for, you can take the corage, the sword and insted of waiting for somebody else you can safe yourself.

Life is not perfect, and it surely doesnt happen like in the fairy tales but that's the beauty of it sometimes it will be hard but it is not yet written which means that you can write your own happy ending, one ending where you not only kill the dragons but became exacly who you are meant to be.




To the girl who is always smilling


Dear girl who is always smilling,

I know you too well. I know all your insecurities and how you silent cry at night, I know how every single day you think if you can make it just for another hour without letting the tears brust and I know how everybody always assume that you are fine just because the smile is there. I know about the times you thought about giving up and the times that life got you down and you fought and got straight back up.

Let me tell you something, you are the bravest person I have always met because you carry the whole world in your weak shoulders and when it hurts you just smile harder.

They ask you all the time "how can you be always this happy?" and you laugh because they don't know, they don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror, they don't know about the cuts in your arms, they don't know how hard it is to get up in the morning. You laugh because it's a joke, right?! How can they not see how tired your eyes look, how can they not see how your soul is weak, they can not see the tears hiding in the corner of your eyes?

But maybe they know, maybe they just want to believe that you are happy, because that means one day they can find hapiness too.

Dear girl who is always smilling, I was you, sometimes I AM you. But I found out that the darkeness is awful but sometimes the people that love you will be your fireflies, your lighting bugs, they will give you a little fire to light your way and they will remember you how great it will be when the light comes.

Dear girl who is always smilling, keep smilling, one day you will be happy, you will find your fireflies, you will see the light and you will be grateful because even when everything was awful you never gave up.




A girl who finally has a truthful reason to smile







My summer bucket list


Every summer I do plan, I get exited, and I end up not doing them. This time is different because during this whole year I have been wishing for Summer, making plans and during this year I understood the most important thing in the world: Life is beautiful, Summer is beautiful, friends are the most important thing for me and that we shoul enjoy every single day.

So summer already started and my bucket list is getting completed thing by thing, here it is:


  1. Try out a different food
  2. Visit a new city
  3. Make a new friend
  4. Learn something new
  5. Party all nigh, sleep all day
  6. Hang out with my friends at least twice
  7. Go to the cinema
  8. Go to the beach
  9. See the sunset on the beach
  10. See the sunrise on the beach (this one is kind of a thing I always wanted to do)
  11. Talk all nigh with someone  (thank's A.)
  12. Cut my haur really short
  13. Fall in love
  14. Do something I'm afraid of
  15. Spend a whole day completly alone
  16. Read 25 books (10/25)
  17. Make a flower crown
  18. Go to Algarve (soon, very soon)
  19. Do something I always dreamed off
  20. Kiss someone (it's tradition, one kiss per summer and I'm happy)
  21. Live a completly perfect day
  22. Go to a concert
  23. Listen more to music
  24. Dance like nobody's watching
  25. Sing on a karaoke nigh
  26. Hang out with A. at least twice
  27. Be barefeet on the grass
  28. Earn some money
  29. Do something I really enjoy
  30. Swim in the ocean
  31. Try out a summer cocktail
  32. Sing in the car with the winds down
  33. Have a waterballin fight
  34. Do a sleep over with my bestie
  35. Do a Summer scrapbook
  36. Bury a Summer time capsule
  37. Go on a roadtrip (it's good to dream)
  38. Have a girls nigh out (with only my girls)
  39. Have a perfect day
  40. Go camping
  41. Host a party
  42. Prank call someone
  43. Take lots of pictures
  44. Learn how to surf
  45. Dive into the water from a cliff
  46. Sleep under the stars
  47. Run through the sprinklers on purpose
  48. Build a sun castle (childhood right?)
  49. Catch fireflies
  50. Feel like the happiest person on earth without a reason


Life is beautifull and so is summer. Enjoy life, enjoy summer, don't take anything for granted and you'll be happy.





You deserve more


Dear A., I know you don't care about what I think but when you are in love you can't really think and even thugh that's beautiful sometimes you are so blind that you need some light. While you're in love even though you didn't ask me to I will be yours.

I know you are in love with her, I know you are confused but don't forget that you deserve so much more than that love that you are getting.

You deserve the world, and I am saying this because I have known you since you were three, I know your craziest dreams and hopes and I know who you are, you are the one guy that I do believe in. You are my favorite person in the world and you are one of my best friends, like a brother for me and I know you dont believe it but you deserve more.

I really want you to be happy but you deserve more than her, you deserve a girl that won't just make you happy, you deserve someone who will make you feel crazly happy, in love with life, mad happy, the kind of happiness that makes you feel like you are flying!

A., you deserve someone that will make you laugh at 2 a.m, someone who make you laugh even when you are sleepy, or sad, or angry, or just when you don't feel like laughing. You deserve a girl that will make you feel loved and happy, someone that could choose anybosy else but still chooses you for every single day of your relashionship.

You deserve someone that makes loving as easy as breathing.

You deserve someone that will love not only the good but also the bad things in you, someone that will love you whole, as you are. Someone that will always be there for you, someone that can be crazy with you, someone that is crazy about you, someone who will stay up with you all night even if what she wanted was to sleep but chooses to stay up and talk because you are more important.

Dear A, you deserve someone that will make your days fun, someone that will dance in the middle of the street just to see that beutiful smile that you have, you deserve love, real love, pure and truthfull love. And you definetly deserve more than her.

A., I just want you to be happy and I know you can't believe that you deserve this much of love but YOU DO. Once I listened in a movie (Perks of being a wallflower, you should see it) that "we accept the love that we think we deserve" so for once believe me, you are awesome and you deserve someone that will give you the whole world.

Until you find that girl dont settle for other, keep searching but son't accept that crappy love, go find the girl and when you do tell her for me that she's the luckiest girl in the whole wide world because she has you!





Who I am


I feel like since I've started this blog I only talked about political and social issues and didn't talked a lot about my personal life. In every post I criticezed society, I criticized you and myself and in every single post I seemed angry.

But the fact is I AM ANGRY because we need to change, and that's who I am. I am the girl who is quiet in class and that everyone thinks that doesn't have an opinion but I have, I have so many thoughts in my mind.

I am a law breaker, a revolucionary, I am the girl who will try hard to be different than everyone else in this society where everyone (exept for me) thinks that fitting in the crowd is important.

I am the girl who fights for her believes even though sometimes I am afraid of doing so, I am the girl who wants to change the world, that's who I am because since I was little my grandfather told me something: " always leave things a little better than you found them". That´s what I am doing, I am trying to leave the world better than I found it and if to do that I have to be angry and mad I will.

A long time ago I promised my grandfather that I would fight for my believes even if it took my life. And I'd be lying if I told you that I am afraid of doing that, because to be truthful I am terrified.

I am terrified because I don't want to waste my life, I am terrified because I think I can't do this, I think I am not capable of doing it but still every single day I jump out of the bed and I try again.

I write this posts because I want you to join me, one person can change the world but lots of them can make it easier.

I don't want to be static, I want to move and travel and have stories an be different because the good thing about those who don't want to be like everybody else is that they can change lives, they do what society calls unconventional things, they dream higher and higher even after they have fall, they try and they fail but still they keep trying. The thing about thoso who don't want to be like everybody else is that they can actually touch the sky.

I want to be them, I want to be the one that dare, I want to be the one who no matter what make things happen and the one who always love unconditionally.

And I really want to be someone you'll always remember, someone you randomly met but couldn't forget because touched your life in some way.

I want to be remembered after I've been gone, I want to be remember as the person that saved the world, I want to be remember as someone who didn't want to be like everyone else so became boldly herself.




You don't get to call me heartless


You don't get to call me heartless because you know what? At 10 you weren't selfconscient about yourself, at 10 you were happy and the world was butterflies, at 10 you weren't so worried about being fat that you stopped eating for a week straight, you weren't traumatized about your body image bit I was. You don't get to call me heartless you know why? Because at 11 you weren't so unhappy that you couldn't breath, for you the age 11 meant happiness and new friends, for me 11 meant hearing people whispering beside me, saying that I wasn't food enough! You don't get to call me heartless and you know why? Because at 12 you didn't cryed yourself to sleep every single nigh, for you 12 was the year of your life for me it was the year I keep trying to forget. You don't get to call me heartless you know why? Because at 13 you didn't wanted to die, at 13 you were certainly unhappy but you weren't cutting your arms in the bathroom, at 13 you loved life bit I hated it. At 14 you were finally happy but I was lonely fighting agains a depression that no knew about. So you don't get to call me heartless because while you were living your perfect little life I was builting a wall arround my heart, I was getting stronger so now you can't get me down again


I don't want to have kids


I don't want to have kids.

This afirmation has shocked so many of my friends but it is the truth! If you asked me a year ago it was a no brainer, I knew I wanted them, I wanted three perfect little persons running arround a perfect little house in a city! I wanted a full house where you can't see or touch silence, not even hear it.

And now I am here and I really don't want them because....

I want to travel the world and I know it is selfish, I know it is crazy but I want to do it. I want to wake up in a different city everysingle day, I want to know all the 7 oceans of the world, I want to get in a car without any defined destination and just go, somewhere. I want to feel the word, I want to fall in love with it because life it's too damn short and I realized that I want to spend my whole life exloring this amazing world we live in.


It's too scary, I don't give up when things are not easy or scary but the truth is that raising children is so scary for me. Because who I am will define who they will be and that scares me because who they will be defines what this world is going to be like. This is not a challenge, babies are little tiny persons, that breath and I am not perfect, I am not a role model. I am just a person that make mistakes, and I couldn't never be a good mom.


And I have heard it: "no man will want you if you don't want kids", "you are going to be too lonely", "you are going to regret it". The truth is, I don't care! I din't need someone that doesn't understand me and being alone doesn't necessarely means that I am lonely! I want to be free, to feel alive, I want to feel the world in my hands and if you don't understand it that's also fine but I am not changing my choise just because society doesn't agrre with me!




I love you


I am the kind of girl that belives in fairy tales, the kind of girl who can't just love with half of my heart. When I love I love with my whole heart, I love loudly, I love big.

If I love you you are really lucky because from that day on I will pour my soul out just to see you smile.

I am the kind of girl who have been hurt but that isn't afraid of having her heart broken again.

And I love you, I love the way you laugh, I love the way you smile, I love the way your eyes sparkle when you' re happy but above all I love the way you make me feel.

But I am afraid, because I'm the kind of girl who always tell their crush that loves him but with you I can't just do that. Because I have messed up with you before, because you're more than a simple friend to me, because I have always loved you and it never worked before. I am scared because I want to tell you but I can't because I wouldn't bear to lose you. So I sit here crying, hoping somehow you read this, hoping somehow you know that is you the one that I love, but above all I sit here crying hoping that this time you love me too.

I don't know if you remember but I told you once a long time ago that you can only say one true I love you in a life time and that I choose you to be that I love you.

After all this time I still chose you, you are my I love you, you are my faire tale, you are the love that some people don't feel in a life time but that I feel every single day when I look at you.







I am a Dreamer


I am a dreamer. That's a fact and I can't help it. Since I can remember everyone arround me has encouraged me to persue my dreams, to be a dreamer. I still remember when I wanted to be an astranaut and when I wanted to be the presidet of the USA even thought I was not even American.

The thing is dreaming when you are little is nice, and loving and everyone loves you for that. Now a days it's not like that.

Dreaming has became a bad word. Dreams are for the fools, the ones who can't do anything with theur lives dreaming is a waste of time, dreaming is a luxury and at the same time dreaming is only for the poor.

Dreaming as became so badly seen by the society that people are afraid to dream. I remember in kindgarden they would ask us what you wanted to be, I remember how every single one of us wanted to be something so strange but empowering that could actually change the world. But now kids want to be lawyers, doctors, they want to be what the society has told them that is right. And I am not even against doctors and lawyers, but they are forgetting to dream big, to dream like their life depend on it. Kids are forgetting that they can do anything if they try hard enough

And I am scared because I can not live in a world where being a dreamer is bad.

What's wrong with it? Was it wrong for America to dream about being independent? Or was it wrong for the mankind to dream about touching the surface of the moon? The answer you are giving is off course not. And my question for you know is: Then why is it to you so awful that I dream that I can change the world?? They were average people with not average dreams, just like me or you. Anyone really.

No matter how badly this word is seen by society I will say it proudly: I AM A DREAMER. Mu question is are you willing to be a dreamer too?

So what are you still doing where? Go out there, go chase your dreams, go change the world.


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